Discussions August 18, 2017

Overcoming That Failing Feeling

I’d say almost everyday I experience this panic. A panic that I’m failing at life and failing with my business. While I know I’ve achieved some success with both so far, something happens during the day that triggers this panic. I’d say most of the time it’s when I’m reminded of how little time there is in a day, or the risks we’re taking with growing our business. It’s when I’m reminded of another thing that I have to add to my already full to-do list. A list where everything is marked as urgent or top priority. Sometimes I experience that failing feeling when I’m reminded that I could have done better on something. And even when I’m feeling happy in the present, I’m normally forecasting my failures through self doubt, thinking I’m not good enough to do something in the future.

 

The two triggers that have been getting to me lately are fears about the risks and unchartered territory we’re entering with our business. We pride ourselves on our efforts and willingness to separate ourselves from our past successes in order to make changes for the future. But that doesn’t mean these decisions are easy. Every time we make a big decision, I worry about the effect that it could have on our business. The other one is a fear that we aren’t achieving balance with our business. When we travel we’re able to create amazing content, but the cost is that we fall behind on the business side. When we’re home, we’re more focused on the business, but I feel more limited in my creativity. Thomas and I actually both experience panic at separate times. I feel like I’m failing if I’m not out creating and sharing, while Thomas feels like he’s failing if he’s not at a desk working on building our business for the future. One thing we have to constantly remind ourselves is that it’s nearly impossible to produce high quality content and run an efficient, successful business with just the two of us.

 

Have you had these feelings? Like you aren’t good enough? And you don’t actually know what you are doing? It’s incredible how our minds can play tricks on our beliefs despite any previous success.

 

While no one wants to constantly feel like they’re failing, many times failure leads to great success. If I was willing to submit subpar work, and didn’t care about pushing myself beyond what I think I can do, I know that I wouldn’t have as big of a fear of failing. So it’s good to experience failing feeling sometimes, as long as the standard for achievement is high. But dwelling on that failing feeling or letting it overcome me and stop me from doing things is what I need to avoid. My goal now is to find a way to feel good about my efforts and success more often.

 

I mentioned that I think a lot of my fears of failing come from wanting to do too many things. If time was infinite, I’d get everything done at the highest quality possible. But that’s not reality. Everyday I’m not only deciding what to do, but through trial and error, I’m learning what not to do. In life, we have different areas where we can spend our time: family, friends, mental and physical health, work and spirituality. These are big areas in most people’s lives. Everyone has their own ideal balance. Lately mine has been heavily skewed towards work, which has led to significant compromises everywhere else, which turns into guilt. What I think overwhelms me even more is the fact that I feel guilty that I don’t put in even more work hours, as there are still things I’d like to accomplish when I close my computer every night. It’s a vicious cycle that I’m always trying to jump ahead of.

 

In an effort to improve, I think it’s really important to try and not let the fear of failing take over my mind. I’ve talked about fear before and how it can become so big that it’s paralyzing, stopping me from stepping outside my comfort zone. But I refuse to let that happen and let it stop me from achieving my dreams. Now, whenever I start to get that panic feeling, I try to stop and ask myself questions to get to the core of it. Often times I’m able to give myself a little pep talk, and remind myself of all of the positivity and possibilities that can come with taking risks. While I know that failure is always possible, success is also always possible.

 

Have you felt this too? How do you try to overcome it?

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