Discussions August 6, 2018

6 Things We Learned About Each Other After 6 Years Of Marriage

On Saturday we celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary. Time really does fly! We spent our whole morning over breakfast talking about the past 6 years- how much has changed, what we were like back then, what we’re like now and where we think we’ll be in another 6 years. Truthfully, you can never tell. In my wildest dreams I never would have thought that 1. We would be working together full time on Gal Meets Glam 2. Launch our own dress line 3. Be living outside of California 4. Have the opportunity to travel to so many amazing destinations and so much more. We feel very grateful to have each other in this life- we’re not only husband and wife, but we’re best friends. Some people think it’s crazy how much time we spend together, but I can’t imagine it any other way. Yes, there are times where we drive each other crazy, but there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t want him right by my side. And I know he feels the same way too.

Last year we did this post, answering 10 random questions about each other that our team put together, so this year we decided to each share 6 things we learned about the other person over the past 6 years.

Thomas about Julia:

  1. She’s a leader- She might not be a natural born leader but I’ll gladly follow her for the rest of my life. I’m often asked if I like what I do for a living or if I wish I could do more “manly” things. The thing is so many people search for purpose, they want their life to be meaningful. When I spend time with Julia and hear her talk about the things she wants to accomplish, it’s infectious. I know that I can live a meaningful life by following the lead and supporting her. The same goes for our team, as our team has grown it takes having a lot of faith in our leader in order to break the mold and do new things.
  2.  Can’t teach an old dog new tricks- I’m a constant tinkerer and I’m in forever search for things that make life easier and more efficient. Julia on the other hand finds comfort in her routines and despite all my attempts to try and improve them, she almost never budges. After my many failed attempts to try and persuade her to test out keyboard shortcuts or any number of other things I’m pitching her, she always tells me: “T, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Occasionally, she’ll try out something new. Some of my happiest moments are when she finally adopts something I’ve been telling her about for months.
  3. She’s very creative- Of course, you already know Julia is creative but when we first met and started dating it wasn’t so apparent how driven by creativity that she was. Julia’s mind is in constant create mode which I love because being around her all day I get to see the world through her eyes. Helping fuel her creativity is her crazy good memory. The level of detail that she remembers on things that she notices is incredible.
  4. When she sets her mind to something, nothing can stop her- whether this is a short term or long term objective, this saying is true. We never could have launched Gal Meets Glam Collection without her perseverance and determination to make her dream a reality. We could have followed easier and quicker routes to launch but she stayed focused on what she wanted to build. A funnier story about a short term goal she accomplished was a few years back when we did a trip to St. Lucia. I was tired of sitting on the beach and I really wanted to hike up Gros Piton, one of the mountains that St. Lucia is famous for. Hiking up a mountain in both desert and rainforest climates was not Julia’s dream vacation she had imagined. She felt that every minute spent on the mountain was one less minute she could be on the beach. She was determined to get the job done as quickly as possible, never stopping until the top. Our guide (you are required to take one) said he had never seen anyone make it up that fast.
  5. She’s a busy body- Julia needs to always be doing something, even on beach vacations she can’t sit still for longer than 15 minutes. It’s not always the easiest to manage but it’s great because she’s always planning things for us to go do, on trips and when home. It keeps our life fresh and always entertaining.
  6. She’s funny and getting funnier- Julia has always made people laugh. I think that’s because she likes to have fun and when around others she doesn’t take herself too seriously. She’s what I like to call, accidental funny. Things she does or says that are just off the mark. I love comedy, and since I was young I’ve always seen comedy as a challenge. Observing life situations and interpreting them to find what can be made into a joke. Maybe it’s been my 6 years of making thousands of jokes, most average at best but Julia has started to catch on. I always love seeing her proud face after she cracks a funny joke.

Julia about Thomas:

  1. He’s a hobbiest- One of my favorite qualities about him is how passionate he is with everything he does. He honestly can’t do something 50%. It’s all or nothing. He usually likes to pick up a new hobby or skill, learn it, perfect it, become an expert, and then move on. I noticed it first when we met in college. Thomas was obsessed with craft beer and started brewing his own. He had a whole mad scientist laboratory with the best equipment he could buy. When he wasn’t in school or playing baseball, you could find him there. After that, he got into growing plants indoor and set up a whole light system, turning his dining table into a grow room. What was he growing? Oh, just some tomatoes, onions, basil and other herbs. After we got married, it became cameras. He initially picked up the hobby for me and Gal Meets Glam, but he quickly became hooked and wanted to learn everything he could about cameras, eventually becoming one of the things he’s most passionate about. Since then, there have been obsessions over grilling (his Big Green Egg was non-stop for about 6 months), gardening with pots, and right now he’s been non-stop talking about wanting to learn pottery…
  2. He’s incredibly patient- And I am not, so we balance each other out. I sometimes don’t understand how he can be so patient with certain things. With that patience comes a very high tolerance for getting upset. He doesn’t get upset often and I think that’s because of how patient he is. He’s methodical and will think things through, understanding the whys and hows instead of letting his emotions get ahold of him. I couldn’t say the same about myself, but he’s had a huge impact on me and how I try to handle situations that upset me. As our relationship grows and the years go by, I realize how important this has been to our marriage.
  3. It’s okay that he’s not warm and friendly from the start- And it’s not because he’s not a warm and friendly guy, he certainly is! Once people get to know him, and once he opens up and feels comfortable around someone, they absolutely love him. He’s quiet and careful, everything he does always has meaning. He’s not a “fluff” person and does not enjoy small talk, so if he’s quiet and holding back in the start, it’s because he’s patiently waiting to have a more meaningful conversation to get to really know someone. I’ve learned that he’s not at all worried about what others think of him and he’s always being genuine and 100% himself.
  4. He’s the organized/ caretaker of the family- When we’re leaving for the airport, a conversation like this usually takes place between us: Thomas- “Jules, you got your Computer? Iphone charger? ID? Wallet? I charged your headphones and put your sunglasses that you love back in your bag.” He’s thoughtful and loves being well-planned, always running checklists through his head. I’m obviously very appreciative of this because nothing ever gets left behind and we’re always on schedule.
  5. Don’t get in his way in the kitchen- He loves cooking and grilling, for both himself (he finds it therapeutic and relaxing), but also because he loves seeing people enjoy something he’s made. But, he doesn’t love to share his cooking space! He likes being head chef and if you come in hot trying to be another lead in his kitchen, he’ll probably kick you out. I’ve seen it before. Luckily, I love being his sous chef and I don’t mind being bossed around.
  6. He’s really good at trying new things- He loves a challenge and seeks out ways to constantly challenge himself. This is such a great skill and quality for anyone to have as it keeps you growing and getting better. He does this both personally and professionally and also keeps me challenged as well. Anytime he’s feeling too comfortable with how something is going or feels like he’s not learning something new, he searches for ways to do it better or improve. I’ve never met someone who loves to learn so much, but also pass on that same knowledge to others.
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